Coronavirus: No Toilet Paper? No Problem! Go the Indian-Way!

Empty shelves at Safeway in Baltimore.

Empty shelves? Well, I am getting used to it now. But, I just don't understand why people are hoarding toilet paper rolls. Are they thinking that the coronavirus will enter through their anus? While that can be true, the virus can enter through any opening of your body, it still doesn't justify why everyone is particularly going crazy over this one item: toilet paper. Is it peer or fear pressure? No, its a REAR pressure! LOL!

As clearly evidenced in this video, people are struggling to find toilet paper after demand exploded amid the coronavirus crisis. The solution to this problem is very simple- JUST ADOPT THE INDIAN TOILET ETIQUETTE. 

Indian's have been washing their butts with water since the beginning of time. This method is very hygienic and environmentally friendly. As it is WHO recommends washing hands with water and soap. So, why not adopt the same technique for washing your butt? It is more effective than wiping if you are so fearful about getting infected by the coronavirus. 

The Japanese Toto toilet is another great alternative to loo paper. Likewise, in some south-east Asian, European and South American countries, people use bidets- a low oval basin designed for cleaning up after finishing the business. In India, people use jet sprays (spray hose) to clean up. It is a small pipe with a sprayer that hooks onto your toilet. If you have a shower or detachable shower head to clean off, try that out. 

For starters, if you don't have any of the above, just take a bowl (mug or jug), get into the bathtub or shower stall, fill the bowl with water,  and clean your bottom using soap and water- just like you would do it while taking shower. But this one is not as elaborate as taking shower- it is rather area specific. In India, people use their left hand for cleaning because I suppose most people are right-handed. However, it is up to you which hand you want to use.

For many, this technique may sound disgusting. At least try it out until we are out of this coronavirus crisis. Moreover, excessive use of toilet paper and its alternatives such as newspaper, paper towels, fabric wipes, feminine hygiene products, etc. can clog your toilets and the sewage system. I am not sure if you will find a plumber in the middle of a lockdown. So, think about it, would you like an over-flowing toilet or are you okay cleaning your butt with water?  

Please don't add to the current problems. Whether you want to practice this technique permanently is a call that you can take in due course of time. For now, think of this as a war and we have to fight it out together.